Sean Dyche can’t believe his luck

Sean Dyche certainly can’t believe his luck.

It’s hard to imagine a more perfect canvas than a humble but fully capable Jungle Squad Dyche to paint an anti-Vocque masterpiece.

There are two ideal scenarios for the Dutchman to come to a club and land his Brexit ball. Either a club that is well aware of its limitations, or one that pays the ultimate price for being completely unaware of them.

Nottingham Forest and their protagonists have deluded themselves into the deeply dangerous belief that they were playing a thoroughly competent season of football in a year of rigorously acclaimed and expertly coached football when so many big teams were simply too terrible to elevate them directly into the elite.

That they were now a club that could dare to dream big and the heat of the Barclays sun proved too much for their new and hastily glued wings had no real consequences.

They have now discovered that this was not the case. In fact, it was utter nonsense.

You just appoint Angej Posikoglou, with his recent Premier League record of losing the most games ever, if you’ve got yourself into trouble you don’t have to think about it.

And you only set the dich if you realize it’s the only thing you can think about now.

Jungle is the most textbook example of the second type of dyke club we can possibly imagine. Thus, it is actually a very decent appointment. It is a smaller, quieter, fixed forest that Decay enters than a nuno leaves only a few weeks before, but is worse for that reason. Be more open to what needs to be done. What will be done.

You’ll have a sad and gritty Brexit ball, and you’ll enjoy it. Or at least accept and appreciate the need for it.

And what’s even better for Dyche is that he should also work on a treat. In the round, the forest surrounds him. Dyche is not as good a manager as Nuno. He is even less subtle in his methods. He’s a downer from manager Forrest at the start of the season, but he’s from the same school.

And thus a much better fit for the profile of the squad he will inherit. Because it really is a very good squad, and one that doesn’t need to be in any of the conflicts it gets itself into. They are better off now than being with Inge.

Kim Block and Counter might not be as effective for Dyche this season as it was for Nuno last time, but it should be effective enough to quickly pull Forest out of their current self-inflicted Angeball-Deluxe relegation battle.

The ditch will once again make the forest orderly and efficient. He’ll prioritize what they’re good at, which we already know aligns well with what he wants his teams to be good at. We saw it work over and over again last season, and it will work over and over again.

We’re beyond confident that P*SS-boying Chris Wood’s goals, XG-mocking draws and wins will once again become the norm at City Stadium. Jungle will once again become one of the hardest teams to play instead of the softest and easiest. And very soon too, we suspect.

This is a club that has taken its medicine and should feel the benefit, but it is Dyche who emerges the clear winner here. He won’t be able to keep the smile off his disheveled face.

He has everything he could possibly want. A squad of very good players perfectly suited to play their particular brand of football at the very highest level, yet at a club where a deeply miserable few months mean there is no immediate desire for anything more.

This is a club that got high on the scent of its own farts and is now suffocating. They don’t need crisp, crystal clear filtered air to breathe. They just need something that isn’t their own fart.

And it also gets a crack at Europe, which is a great development for all of us.

On Thursday, the Dutchman will lead Nottingham Forest into a Europa League clash with Porto. And it’s a sentence in which each individual element would have seemed completely ridiculous just 12 months ago.

Football is great, and Dyche is inevitable.