Richarlison is pure, bare-chested, brilliant, vulgar and often silly Spurs

In football or in life, there is no such thing as a stupid person. All that exists are people who do stupid things. It seems that a lot of these people play football. And usually, for a particular team. Oh, look, it’s Tottenham Hotspur’s Richarlison.

On Saturday afternoon, with Matthijs Talley having just stolen Ruben Amorim’s jacket, Richarlison decided he wanted to lace up his boots too, and promptly joined his young French team-mate on the scoresheet to put Spurs 2-1 up in the second half.

It was a funny game Tottenham didn’t have a business win, and one they deservedly lost after 84 minutes, but the Brazilian striker’s quick flick deflected Wilson Odobert’s shot ever so slightly and sent the ball past Sean Lemmons to send White Hart Lane into a state of euphoria. Then Richarlison tore off his jersey. And Spurs’ hearts sank.

Taking off an article of clothing to celebrate something isn’t novel, but it is silly. It doesn’t happen when someone gets an A on a test, passes their driving test, gets engaged, or finds money in the pocket of an old pair of jeans.

Reacting to a joyous moment by being a little too bare doesn’t apply to any other sport. No golfer sinks a putt on the 18th and responds with knees ripping off his sweater vest. This also does not happen in tennis. Or snooker. Rugby? No. Darts? Number swimming? Probably heard of it. Will probably see more swimming.

But in football, it was such an epidemic that the higher ups changed the original rules that a player would receive a yellow card if this moronic act was committed. Did he stop it?

Are these balls? It continued, perhaps more often than before, Hugo Ektyk really nailed it back in September. Aktyk was already on a yellow card when he exposed his chest in the Carabao Cup third round. Not in the last minute of the finale, though that’s still no excuse. And not even in the fifth round, which would be less than Actaic as well as less than Liverpool. Totally worth it after that.

Aktyk will likely learn his lesson, but Richarlison? He is quite possibly cursed. Or just a sh*t who is often covered in his own reserves.

In the summer of 2022, the sometimes grumpy Brazilian joined Tottenham again. But due to a combination of injuries, the presence of Harry Kane, and the weight of expectations from the $60 million price tag, he was reported to still be on zero Premier League goals in 2023, although there were occasional zero Premier League goals.

Earlier in the season, he scored a goal against Fulham, ripped his jersey, threw it high, and was booked before the referee intervened. He also scored against Brentford, but was disallowed before he could grab his shirt. This meant that when Richarlison took to the pitch to face Liverpool on 30 April, he had more yellow cards for celebrating goals than he actually scored. That’s it, so Spurs.

He finally scored the first league goal of the season at Anfield, removed a few clothes to ensure he further angered the home fans, and was still so full of energy from taking the piss at the home of his former team’s rivals that he followed up his striptease with a bird-like impression more than Dee Reynolds could have imagined. His header late in stoppage time made it 3-3. Spurs were 3-0 down after 15 minutes, so of course the curse of stupidity was broken. Card It just shifted.

Richarlison scoring and having his shirt removed was no longer a sign of warranted VAR intervention – although that would happen again in the future – but was now a rallying cry for opposition when it somehow seemed as though there was no hope. It was 3-3, but there was 60 seconds of overtime to go. Liverpool kicked on, Tottenham defended like a future English team, and Diego Jota made it 4-3.

So on Saturday, when Ritchie hit home in extra time to put Spurs in dreamland, the joy of most fans quickly turned to horror at the sight of their bald Brazilian running into the corner in shorts, socks and boots once again. A yellow card waited patiently for him to be dressed again. The initial feeling was that of course he was off, but no, replays showed Manuel Ugart waving off Tottenham traffic. That meant only one thing: Manchester United were going to score an equaliser.

He had a Richarlisson moment before the yellow card. Early in the first half, Brennan Johnson curled a peach of a cross towards his own bonus, and if Ritchie had simply stood up, the ball would have gone over his head. Instead, he went to power a header on goal and missed the ball completely.

This is the same guy who scored the incredible scissor kick earlier this season. He also scored just six Premier League goals in two seasons for Spurs and Watford, but has 20 goals for Brazil in 52 internationals, one of them a bicycle kick against Serbia, which was named the goal of the tournament at the 2022 World Cup.

Spurs are not stupid. They’re just a club full of people who like to do stupid things. Richterlison is a Spurs player, and he likes to do stupid things, sometimes after doing something amazing, but almost always standing around bare-chested.

Richard Mullan – Check out his LinkedIn here.