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There were three English teams in Champions League action last night and all three picked up impressive wins. Good for collaboration, terrible for media watch.
We can’t even make excuses for Arsenal’s 4-0 thrashing of Atletico Madrid, can we? They absolutely showed their Champions League credentials, and there’s nothing we can do about it.
Fortunately, there’s still some nonsense out there. There always is.
Does this make me crazy?
Mediawatch feels a little bad now Having a pop in the sun for an oh-so-topical reference to the mad gang when discussing Manchester United tomorrow..
At least it was just a throwaway line there, albeit out of date for those of us who know that the best and most subjective references clearly quote 30-year-old Simpsons or the lyrics to songs we just checked and discovered came out about 20 f*cking years ago. But certainly not 40-year-old football, here.
A point that bears repeating now because the end The Daily Telegraph Jason Burt has taken that crazy gang line and really, really, Really Then go with it Arsenal opened with a 4-0 Champions League win over Atletico Madrid It clearly just screams mid-to-late 1980s Wimbledon. They always depended on that sort of thing, those rascally lunatics.
‘Crazy gang’ to surrender in Champions League dreamland
We’ll leave it to the football clichés to decide whether anyone can really be in the ‘Champions League dreamland’ of three games into the low-intensity league stage. It’s the crazy gang we’re interested in.
Set pieces, long throws, a big old No. 9 beating them from close range and now cold rain. Mikel Arteta is turning Arsenal into a sort of blue-chip, luxury version of the mad gang.
Does he, though? Is he doing it?
It’s not like Wimbledon has ever played like this or achieved such a high-profile result as Arsenal produced a statement performance that would reverberate across Europe.
Then it will be ‘no’.
It’s all about you
A fun game for all of us to play. Let’s start with this headline The mirror
Diego Simeone’s goal is a dig at Liverpool after Arsenal riots
And now your challenge. Which clever sausage can guess how many times Simeone mentioned Liverpool in his skinny-dipping digs?
oh You all are fine. We thought it might be difficult.
By introduction, Simone’s thinly-veiled dig becomes a ‘light dig’ and eventually, by the time his original quote is revealed, a statement of bloodletting.
Says what Simone has done, and it’s really infamous, says The Arsenal team that just beat Atletico Madrid 4-0 is the best team they have faced so far this season.. And who have Italy faced this season? Well, Liverpool. who beat them 3-2 with one of his trademark late winners. It’s very strange for Simeone to think that a team that has beaten his team 4-0 is better than a team that needs an injury-time winner to beat them 3-2. Definitely some sus there.
For full transparency, the brutally controlled Simeone also aimed this surprising comment as a subtle and thinly veiled dig at: Espanyol, Elche, Alves, Villarreal, Real Mallorca, Rio Vallecano, Real Madrid, Eintracht Frankfurt, Celta Vigo and Osuna.
He is truly a master of the dark arts. Meanwhile, we appeal to mirror pearl cultures Look no further than the Premier League tablelest they suffer a further vapor attack on the thinly-operated digs that Liverpool are currently heading for.
As you like it
Regular media watchers will know just how big fans we are. ‘Like’ has established itself as the single most powerful headline word in all of tabloidland because of its ability to separate two pieces of unrelated information into a fascinating whole without any kind of connection.
Examples are so widespread that we have long since given up any attempt to catalog and record them all for prosperity, preferring now to simply identify the best examples of the genre. And this from one The Daily Star Once we put all the moving parts together, we would stand and applaud.
Man UTD News: ‘Fantastic’ £80m signing hailed as transfer target
Now obviously what we will all know for sure immediately is that this story is by no means the story of Man United signing anyone – ‘fantastic’ or otherwise – for £80m. It absolutely will not.
But it is far from the fact that it actually lives in reality that makes it stand out.
‘m 80m signing’? Mr. Jacob Harry Maguire Esq. Why is he ‘fantastic’? Because Paul Scholes says so.
OK, so this bit is just some Tish and Fipsy nursing the last drops from the Gaddy Enfield fallout three days later. No problem there. But there’s still some interesting news here, isn’t it? Even if it’s not a spectacular £80m signing, it’s still a big deal that a transfer target has said yes to the deal. isn’t it?
Well let us tell you that this is not exactly exciting news. Or really any kind of news. For the ‘transfer target’ who has said yes to joining Manchester United, it is none other than Robert Lewandowski.
Barcelona could release him in the summer, you see, now what with him at 37 and all. So where does United fit in here?
Because he has actually said yes to joining them. Why has he said yes to joining United? Let’s defer to the great man himself.
‘I wanted to join Manchester United to see Alex Ferguson.’
If it’s a bit strange to say this in 2025, that’s because we were all busy watching the London Olympics when he said yes to joining Manchester United.
Reminder that the dictionary defines ‘AS’ in this context as ‘in the course of something else while something else is happening’. Didn’t want to meet Sir Alex Ferguson in 2012 and Harry Maguire scored the goal 13 years later.
There are eyes
We intended to be a little arcane about here The mirror to claim Marcus Rashford Scoring a couple of braces to Olympiakos thrashing Olympiakos 6-1 at Barcelona was a ‘clear message’ or to prove Ruben Amorim ‘wrong’ as we’re sure Amorim never said Rashford couldn’t score against a batting team that just wanted to finish the game.
But it would have been tougher than us. United and Amorim is Things messed up with Rashford, there’s little doubt about that.
We’d probably just hoped that United weren’t particularly important here in their post-Field glow and Rashford’s goals so we could at least get a situation where he doesn’t do all that well at Barcelona.
It was silly of us. We are basically angry with ourselves.
However, we now have to admit that on the back of this revelation, Rashford’s already impressive numbers at Barcelona are even better than first appeared.
Rashford will be hoping he can maintain his impressive form, with one eye on securing a permanent move to Barcelona and a place in Thomas Tuchel’s England squad for the 2026 World Cup.
Scoring all those goals with one eye on his contract and another on the World Cup, if our math is right, so no eye on actual football is really that impressive.
